2020/05/29

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YouTuber gives up autistic 4-year-old she adopted from China


A popular parenting YouTuber who documented her familys experience of adopting a toddler from China has decided to give that child up because of problems related to the childs autism.
Myka Stauffer has 713,000 subscribers on YouTube where she posts videos about her life as a mother to five children four of them biological and one Chinese boy whom she adopted in Guangxi in October 2017.
In a video posted to her channel on Tuesday, Stauffer and her husband announced that they would be permanently rehoming 4-year-old Huxley due to unspecified behavioral issues.
Once Huxley came home, there was a lot more special needs that we werent aware of, and that we were not told, James Stauffer explained in the video.
For us, its been really hard hearing from the medical professionals, a lot of their feedback, and things that have been upsetting, he continued. Weve never wanted to be in this position. And weve been trying to get his needs met and help him out as much as possible.
Do I feel like a failure as a mom? Like, 500%, added Myka Stauffer.
Myka said that Huxley had been placed with a perfect match family. She claimed that she and her husband love Huxley and always will.
Stauffer has produced dozens of videos featuring Huxley on her monetized YouTube account, first documenting her adoption journey and then providing updates about he was adjusting to life in Ohio.
The most popular video on her channel is of the day she officially adopted Huxley. It begins with the text: Dedicated to all orphans around the world. A little boy stole our hearts in China.
In some videos, Stauffer asked for donations from her followers for Huxley, explaining that each $5 donation would unlock a different piece of a 1,000-piece puzzle.
When completed, the puzzle would reveal a photo of Huxley.
She also promised to write the name of all donors in the toddlers baby book.A video from July 2018 focused on Huxleys adoption was sponsored by Dreft a hypoallergenic laundry detergent for newborns.
In the video, Stauffer talks about how she is using Dreft to bond with Huxley.It was really nice because Dreft baby detergent has this scent just like a newborn, so when Im cuddling a 3-year-old baby boy I can still feel like Im snuggling that brand-new baby, she says.
I love everything about this little boy and I wouldnt trade him for anything! she wrote in an Instagram post that was posted on the same day as the video and was also sponsored by Dreft.
However, more recently, Stauffers subscribers began to notice that Huxley had stopped appearing in videos and started asking the YouTube star about what had happened to the boy.
One of Stauffers last posts featuring Huxley is an Instagram post in which she writes:
The last couple days have been hard I dont want to sugar coat anything. We have had a lot of melt downs, and lots of behaviors that have had us on our knees begging god for guidance! On social medial and Youtube we rarely show the behaviors or the hard stuff, because we try our best to respect our sons privacy and dignity. We have hard days, lots of them. I wish autism and adoption trauma had a manual to direct you through it all.

After adopting Huxley, Stauffer began to write articles for parenting magazines and blogs about being the mom of a child with special needs.
In an article she wrote for Parade in September 2019, she explains that they were told by the adoption agency that Huxley had a brain tumor but that when they brought the toddler home they realized his files were inaccurate.Stauffer says that Huxley had actually had a stroke in utero and has level 3 autism and sensory processing disorder.
It took a lot of time to process and to readjust to his new diagnosis. We spent 10 months preparing for brain tumors and never once did I read about autism or stroke damage it was a curve ball, she wrote.
However, Stauffer then assured readers that the issues were not insurmountable.
He is a great kid and his condition doesnt involve that much overall care all you need is a big heart and practice patience everyday. Its a different kind of patience, she wrote.
Stauffers assessment of Huxley changed drastically with her announcement that they had decided to rehome the 4-year-old, claiming that multiple scary things happened inside the home towards our other children.
Her decision to give up on the child has ignited a firestorm of criticism on social media with internet users accusing the YouTuber of going into the adoption for the wrong reasons.



The controversy has also reached Chinese social media where videos of Huxley had been re-posted onto Chinese video platforms.
In response, the civil affairs bureau in Huxleys home region has said that it will look into the case. A government employee in Guangxi said that officials would have truthfully provided all relevant documents about the childs condition.
We will not hide the real conditions, he said. If the adoptees found they could not accept, they should not adopt.


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